Jacobar Part 4

The End of His Own Peninsula

Jacobar sat on the shore of a New English Sea, gazing at the ocean and the stars above it. A campfire burned between two nearby tents and gave flickering light to the ground and gentle waves before him. He sighed as he thought back to the peninsular tragedy of some 20 years ago. "I simply cannot face His Own Peninsula, and therefore I can never go back to the seas," he said to himself. He longed for his sailing days to return. Just then, he saw a shooting star streaming through the sky. Unfortunately, it was heading straight toward him so all he saw was a growing point. He sighed again and wished to himself that His Own Peninsula could be vanquished today, and that's when it hit him.

The star, that is.

"ENooz Online presents..." floated in white letters before him.

"A new chapter in the Jacobean saga..." he was really starting to get confused by these strange words in the sky, but figured it was just after effects of a star colliding with his forehead.

The Legend of Jacobar, Part IV

Now he was starting to worry, because that one wasn't even in quotes.

(The End of His Own Peninsula)

"Could it be?" thought Jacobar to himself excitedly, and as the last of the text faded away he heard the smell of burndt toast and a brief surge in the waves. Lu Cont rushed to his Capain's side.

"Did you hear that?! It sounded like a peninsula dying!"
"It could be," Jacobar replied as he stood, still staring straight ahead into the ocean. "Only once before have I heard that burndt toast smell, and that was 20 years ago."

"Are you okay, captain? That looks like a crushed star on your forehead."
"THAT, good sir, is an apricot!" and with that he fell flat to the ground.

And so the crew of Captain Jacobar assembled, to embark again upon the seas in a new and magnificent vessel given to them by the King in gratitude for rescuing his son. After almost 20 years since he last traveled upon the sea, Jacobar stood once again on deck and gave the order, "Lu Cont, full speed ahead!" And they were off. They were way off.

"Captain, I'm not quite sure how to say this but I'm afraid we're lost."

"Nonsense! Why, you are the greatest navigator in all the land!"

"I'm afraid in 20 years I have become somewhat out of practice."

"Well then, pull over and ask directions."

"I tried that, but the doctor punched me in the face and said I was schizophrenic."

"We have a doctor on board?"

"A hitchhiker, but he has a PHD."

"I see. Well then, I supose I shall have to do it myself," and with that Captain Jacobar went to the side of the ship and jumped into the sea. He shivered as he passed through the water's surface and swam deeper and deeper seeking the ocean floor. The crew gathered around the side of the ship and stared down in concern.

"Does anyone know how long he can hold his breath?" No one knew, and so they watched and hoped. Minutes later Jacobar reached the bottom and saw a pair of road signs. "Mid-Atlantic Current," and "Main Stream", they read.

"Aha!" he gurgled, "now I know exactly where we" bubble. And he swam back to surface. Fifteen minutes had passed when he finally reached the air again. The crew quickly lowered ropes, and he climbed his way back onto the deck. "Good men of the crew, I know now where we are and we must head West to the peninsula."

"But... how did you hold your breath for so long?" the doctor asked.

"Simple, I" and Jacobar suddenly realized he had not inhaled for 20 minutes. As if the mighty implosion of a midget star, his mouth and nose gaped open and sucked in the air. The ocean itself began to be sucked up through the air, and before he finished his breath he had water in his lungs. He collapsed on the floor, writhing and drowning.

"Let me help! I know CPR!" said the doctor, and he punched Jacobar in the face. Again and again he punched, until Jacobar coughed up the water and rolled over to slowly get up. Again, the doctor punched, and again, and Jacobar was knocked over the side of the ship. He fell to the ocean, and again began to drown.

"You are a bad man!" cried Lu Cont, and he tipped the doctor over. "Come on men, we must rescue our Captain!" And so they dove into the water and lifted him, and they carried him up the ropes. They laid their captain on the deck floor and watched him for signs of life. His face looked like carved tofu, and his limbs were limblike. He did not move.

"Bad man or not," said the doctor, "you need me!"

"Very well, but punch him again and you are a dead man." said Lu Cont. The doctor, still on the floor from tipping, rolled to the captain's side and examined Jacobar studiously. "Yes," he said. And he punched him in the face. The captain coughed up the water in his lungs and staggered to his feet.

"I'm alive!" he shouted. "Westward, Lu Cont" he said, and the relieved crew went back to work. Lu Cont stepped over the dead man and looked to the sky. "We shall finally know what became of His Own Peninsula."

Forty days and forty nights they traveled. "I'm tired!" said the cat. It started to look as if they would never see land again, but on the forty-first day Lieutenant Hasson spotted something in the distance. "Captain!" he shouted. "It's bunt toast!"

"Where!" asked Jacobar as everyone gathered, and before the Lieutenant could answer he saw it too. "No, Lieutenant. It's bundt toast." The crew stared on in wonder, and the Captain shed a tear. He plucked the apricot from his forehead and looked down at it. "Thank you," he said, "In the name of the Jacobean peninsula, I curse this peninsula's grave!"

"Sir, I think this is the Jacobean peninsula's toast."

"DAMNIT! Even in its probable death, the evil twin has tricked me and turned me against my own peninsula! I rescind my curse upon this grave. May this peninsula be forgiven of its sins and allowed into the Kingdom of Europe. Amen. Lu Cont, take me to His Own Peninsula!"

And a few days later they came upon another mighty loaf. "Good," said Jacobar finally at peace. He spit upon the toast. "My peninsula is finally avenged. Let's go home." And so they sailed on into the sunset, without a clue which way they were going. Jacobar and crew voyaged together again just like the days of olde.

"You know, we never actually named this new ship."

"You know, you're right! Let's call it..."

The End
Of Part Four