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Jacobar meets the End...ish. It was a Fra-day night after the good fellow Sir Endish ate some bad Vietnamese food, when he suddenly found himself wandering amongst the hills. It was there that he happened upon a magnificent floating castle of pure light and magic. At one glimpse, he knew this was his destiny and he knew there was a reason he had seen the castle. And so, he took the long and straggly road o'er the peacocks and through the airborne swamps until at last he reached the glowing gates to the castle's meadows of uncertain wisdom."Endish, come forth!", a deep voice said, "Your fate will be revealed by the great Bobbadubambao!" "Yes yes," he said and he stepped forward, "I must know my fate!" He walked eagerly, blind to the physics around him, and passed through the gate to hear this knowledge. "You must seek a man named Jacobar, and you must carry his pack for him." After a gasp and a moment of wonder, Endish felt for the first time that his life had real meaning. Satisfied and ready to leave, he ceased to stand on the floating castle meadow grounds, and in fact ceased to have ever been walking on nonsense hovering platforms in the first place. He walked back out through the closed gates, and continued sitting still on the hill where he now had been all along. Endish woke up on the hilltop the next morning, and in his sheer excitement he rose to his feet without even bending his knees. He ran from hilltop to hilltop, to shining massive hilltop that towered over the other two and probably couldn't even be called a hilltop if it even existed in the first place, which is doubtful considering the mental state of this man who was essentially running and screaming nonstop all morning. He screamed, "JACoBAR! Where are you?!" It just so happened that at that time, the legendary Captain Jacobar was passing through and heard these strange words echoing from a different direction every few minutes. "What is it, already?" he called out. In no more than an instant, Endish stood before him and gasped in commiseration at the Captain before him. "Let me carry your pack, good sir," he said finally. "Hmm. Who is it that wishes to carry my pack?" "I am Fetherem P. Endish," the man replied. "Endish... of the Hills!" Jacobar stated. In a majestic motion, he removed his pack and held it out in front of the hill man. "You must join us." Endish looked, and confirmed that Jacobar was alone. "My companions and I are headed to the Fluffy Kitten Inn, and you must join us. After all, I wouldn't have a man carry my pack who wasn't going the same place I was. Carry this pack as a token of great loyalty, and try not to get it wet." "Yes sir," Endish replied as his eyes glossed over in an unnatural amount of water. "I will carry this pack as if it were my very honor that I carry." They journeyed for days, and finally reached the Fluffy Kitten Bar. Jacobar stepped in first, with Endish at his side, and Lu Cont and the others followed immediately behind. The Captain walked up to the bartender and laid his business card upon the table. "I am Jacobar!" he said. "I wish a room for the night." "This is a bar. We only serve drinks, and we do not allow customers to sleep in the mugs; it's a health regulation. Try the Fluffy Kitten Inn." "Aha! But you see..." said Jacobar. With that he turned and left in the utmost of style, and the group journeyed another five days to reach the building next door: The Fluffy Kitten Inn. "I am Jacobar!" he said. "I wish a room for the night." "Oo the eck are you?" said the Gnu sitting at a table in front of him. Jacobar turned to the side and directed query to the bartender instead. "I am Jacobar!" he said. "I wish a room for the night?" "Aha! I have been..." said the bartender. With that, he turned and exited through a door just out of view. "Endish!" said the Captiain. "Take my pack to the room, and I will be there shortly." Endish stared in confusion as the Gnu led him to the room, opened it, and handed Endish the key. He set the pack down upon the bed, but not a second later it spontaneously sprung a leak and multiple streams of water began spraying in the general direction of the pack. "NO! " Endish said in a nanosecond, and at that speed the frequencies ruptured the glass windows and the bed simultaneously. He caught the pack in midair, and moved it aside just in time to miss all streams of water. Jacobar stood silent in the doorway. "Good job, Endish." Endish realized that the Captain had been standing there the whole time, and the bed was no doubt a test. He turned to face the Captain, and suddenly in great shock he slipped and vaporised the water. "My God!" said the man of the hills, "you're a man!" "Yes, I have been all along, and furthermore I have not changed my appearance! I have always appeared as I have been, a man." "My God. That Vietnamese food must have been defective!" "So they tell me, Endish." "Who?" "Once upon a time, I sent my most loyal friend off on a great mission to seek the Gurus of the Sphore Garden. When he returned, he told me he had heard of wonderous things; of an ENooz Podcast, a robotic lawnmower, and lastly he told me that he had been told the future. A man named Endish, he said would come to me. Endish of the hills, a man under the influence of Vietnamese sauces who would help me defeat the great and terrible Lord Gouda. I had to be sure it was you, for the Gurus said that Endish would have reflexes that could even break glass at a distance." The two looked out the broken window and saw that all the glass for as far as the eye could see was broken. "Indeed," said Jacobar, "it is you. Together, we shall rid the land of Eng Land of the horrible power that now plagues 52 and a half percent of it, and bring balance to the world!" "You're man, man! I mean mad!" "But Endish, look inside yourself. You know it is your destiny." "You're right..." said Endish, "This must be why the meadows of uncertain wisdom told me to seek you... and now I know why Gouda cheese tastes as it does. I am with you, Jacobar!" "To the 'carry my pack for me' mobile!" Endish got off the floor, and readied himself to carry pack like he never carried pack before... but then they got to the 'carry my pack for me' mobile and it carried the pack for him so he finally got some rest. Jacobar, Endish, Lu cont, Hasson, and the unimportant Lieutenant Manavich set out again into the sunset to face their greatest quest yet. Glass feared them as they passed, and several insects perished from bad timing. Gouda's days were numbered. -- End of this part. -- |
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| © Copyright 2007, Thomas Lee Davidson | ||||||||
